i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Are we still banned from the library?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
