i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
