So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
