piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm passing your future prison.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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