shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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