And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
