This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
