So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
