Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
