can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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