so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
