just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
