What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
