Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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