Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
