You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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