Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
COCAINE IS GR8
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
