She's JV to your varsity
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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