there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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