I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
