Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
