We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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