I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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