remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
