Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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