Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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