i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
The air taste purple.
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