Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
