i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
