Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
