Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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