party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
