I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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