We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
