You can't special order awesome
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
