I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Randomize
