She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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