youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
