She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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