we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
