Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It was like giving head to a cactus.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
