Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
