Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
