so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
