I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
