Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
