She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
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dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
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We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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