I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
How does one acquire holy water?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
