He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
