The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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