Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
