And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
