Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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