They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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