I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Congratulations! We have a period
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