your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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