we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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