If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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