did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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