if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
