therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
